socksnstuff00:

ALT

Originally posted by 1-800-amortentia

sketiana:

onepieceof-stardust:

sketiana:

protectspock:

sketiana:

protectspock:

sketiana:

ill spend my twenties investigating the healing properties of salt i dont know about you guys

excuse me

Sorry op. That’s my friend the Salt Vampire from the Star Trek episode “The Man Trap” which first aired in 1966. Blessings be upon you.

its just i dont feel blessed by its presence is all. sending love your way

[I.D. a human-like creature with gray skin, long gray hair, and an open mouth. There is a speech bubble on top of him. End I.D.]

oh my God i didnt even notice the speech bubble thats how distracting the freak was

jatersade:

respect-snails:

f603:

there r so many emojis i always stumble across something like 🗜 and i think who the HELL would ever use this emoji. and then i think abt some guy who probably works w those things all the time n hes so happy he can use this emoji. and im happy for him

My dad has started using them regularly in conversations to make the underrepresented emojis feel included, which is very cute in theory, but it means I get texts like:

Anyways this is the only correct way to use emojis have a very 🪔 day

reminds me of this interaction I had with my parents

they were in the same room and apparently when they got my explanation text my dad threw his phone down and said “how the FUCK does she expect me to know that”

owlpellet:

tevruden:

owlpellet:

owlpellet:

as we rightfully mourn a powerful tool for organizing and networking please also spare a thought for all of the wayward Important Boys adrift from twitter. it served as a specialized care neighborhood for their Important Boy Disease. the moment you touch a keyboard you become susceptible to Important Boy Disease and once it has advanced to a point of “speaking on behalf of a community” there is no cure, so we should all empathize with the pain of this confusing new environment.

i hope this post made you think of an Important Boy who is hurting right now. no one will see their replies to corporate accounts anymore.

And, funnily enough, Important Boy Disease was also its downfall

He did it! He was the Most Important Boy.

hornetstabber:

mr-phoenix-downer:

hornetstabber:

mr-phoenix-downer:

hornetstabber:

i’m gonna go out on a limb and call that a complete lie

which limb?

penis

penis isn’t a limb you idiot it’s an external sex organ

my bad professor cock didn’t realize i had an expert over here 🙄

tiniesttinsel:

calellon:

intriga-hounds:

can i interest u in a box of friend??

it’s him…… the Grey Earl…………..

A most honored guest at the royal ball!